Circumstances Have No Care for Our Feelings
Ever feel like life’s just picking a fight with you? A plan falls apart, a delay throws you off, or some random twist leaves you steaming. You want to yell, as if the world’s out to get you. But here’s the thing: circumstances don’t have it in for you. They’re just forces—blind, moving like clouds that don’t notice you beneath them. Marcus Aurelius, who carried the weight of an empire, said, “You shouldn’t give circumstances the power to rouse anger, for they don’t care at all.” Why burn yourself out raging at things that can’t hear you? Let’s grab a coffee and talk through how to stop fighting the universe and find calm instead, focusing on what you can actually shape.
Picture a storm wrecking your outdoor plans. You’re mad, but the rain doesn’t know or care. It’s just water falling, indifferent as a rock. Getting angry is like shouting at a wall—it doesn’t budge, and you’re left drained. Marcus Aurelius said, “If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.” The hurt comes from how you see the event, not the event itself. Instead of fuming, try this: take a deep breath and name what’s happened. “The plan’s canceled.” “The car won’t start.” Naming it cuts through the story you’re spinning, like “This always ruins everything.” You’re not denying your frustration—you’re just not letting it run you.
What makes us cling to that anger? It’s not just the moment’s sting—it’s thinking the world should bend to our feelings. We want life to play fair, but circumstances aren’t fair or unfair; they just are. Epictetus said, “What need is there to weep over parts of life? The whole of it calls for tears.” Life’s chaos isn’t personal, so why take it that way? When you’re tempted to lash out, try a mental shift: imagine the event as a passing cloud, not a targeted attack. Ask, “What can I do right now?” Maybe it’s finding a new plan or staying calm for those around you. This focus on action, not emotion, is like steering a boat through choppy water—you can’t stop the waves, but you can guide the helm.
Anger at circumstances feels like it’s doing something, but it’s a dead end. You’re yelling at a void—events don’t flinch, and neither do the indifferent gods of fate. Seneca said, “You have power over your mind, not over events; focus on what you can control, and you’ll find peace.” Instead of wrestling with what’s outside you, turn inward. Write down one thing you control in this moment—your next step, your attitude. If a delay hits, maybe you read a page of a book instead of stewing. If a plan flops, choose to laugh rather than curse. This isn’t about ignoring your feelings; it’s about picking a response that keeps you steady, like choosing a solid path over quicksand.
Letting go of that fight brings a kind of freedom, like setting down a heavy load. You’re not at war with the world anymore—you’re moving with it. Epictetus said, “Make the best use of what is in your power, and take the rest as it happens.” When you stop giving circumstances your anger, you save your energy for what’s yours to shape—living with integrity, showing up for others, being someone you respect. When something goes wrong, pause and say, “This doesn’t care about my feelings, so I won’t let it steal my peace.” Then take one small action that feels right. It’s not about being emotionless; it’s about choosing calm over chaos, building a life that’s steady no matter what comes.
Life’s messiness doesn’t stop, and neither does the urge to push back. But every time you let go of anger at things that don’t matter, you grow stronger. Marcus Aurelius said, “The universe is change; our life is what our thoughts make it.” Your thoughts are your ground to stand on. When the next curveball hits, don’t shout at it—choose what you do next. That’s where your power lies, and it’s enough to carry you through.
We’d love to hear how you’re finding that calm! Share in the comments 💬 a moment you let go of anger at life’s chaos, or which idea keeps you steady. If this hit home, give it a like ❤️ to share the wisdom.
Morning Routine
Mornings used to be my nemesis. I’d wake to a screeching alarm at 7 a.m., only to slap the snooze button repeatedly —once, twice, sometimes three times, each delay sinking me deeper into groggy dread. As a med school student, my days were a blur of lectures, cramming for exams, and endless flashcards, but my mornings were pure chaos. I’d stumble out of bed, already late, grab my phone, and drown in notifications—emails from professors, group chat deadlines, and social media noise. My body was a wreck: junk food binges, zero exercise, and a sleep schedule shredded by all-nighters. By 9 a.m., I was chugging coffee to survive, my focus frayed, my mood tanked. I was running on fumes, losing a race against time before the day even began. If this sounds like your mornings, you’re not alone. I thought this was just life—until it nearly broke me.
Fussing over things is a waste of time and energy, mostly. So yes, taking it as it comes and stepping outside of your own shoes to see from another perspective always helps. Sometimes we make things bigger than they are in reality. Thank you for reminding me!
So true and wonderfully expressed